Losing Loved Ones

So many people out there are suffering right now.  Many of you are stuck in heartache, have lost loved ones, and are just lost right now.  Your mother, father, husband, wife, sister, brother, child, newborn, grandparent, best friend or someone that you loved dearly passed away.  I want you to know that you are seen and that you are loved. I am not going to pretend to know what it feels like to lose a spouse or a child because I have never experienced that kind of a loss. I have experienced several losses in my life though and have found a couple of things that help me when I am sad.

 I am not here to tell you to suck it up, to tell you that time heals the wound, or to tell you that it is not ok to deal with it how you are dealing with it. I am going to start by telling you that every single person in the world deals differently with death.  How you respond to the passing of a loved one depends on so many different things.  I am not going to get into those specific things today because people tend to tense up and get defensive when those things are discussed.  What I want to do instead is talk to you about what has helped me deal with loss. I will also tell you that this has not been a “fix all” for me, but it has helped me a ton.

If you are heartbroken because you do not know if the person who passed away is in heaven or in hell, then I want you to read and think about this.  If you feel like you missed an opportunity to make sure that a person knew God when you did, you may have unknowingly planted a seed in them.  It is possible that your behavior exhibited Christ enough that you planted a seed in them that would lead them to Christ. It is also possible that you missed an opportunity, in which case you made a mistake.  You are human and humans make mistakes. You may be experiencing guilt and regret.  My advice to you is to talk to God about it.  Give him the guilt, regret and any shame that you feel.  Ask for forgiveness and then forgive yourself.  You need to move forward.  Life is like that commercial they used to play for some drug ad on TV that said something along the lines of “A body in motion, stays in motion. A body at rest, stays at rest.”  As long as you have a hold of it, it is yours. Give it to Jesus and you can just leave it.  Fully give it to Jesus. Stop trying to pick it back up.  Then you can heal.  Honor the memory of the person who passed by making sure those you interact with knows Jesus. The biggest mistake you can make it to dishonor your person by holding onto the guilt of “If only I…”

If you are still here with me, let’s be friends! Let me give you hug!  You need a hug.  Now, let’s sit together, drink your favorite warm beverage and let’s talk.  Nothing good ever happens when you store the pain inside of yourself and take no action. We need to talk….

Let’s think about Heaven.  One place that describes it is in Revelation 21:21 where it says:  “The twelve gates were twelve pearls: each individual gate was of one pearl. And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass.”

My vision of the Pearly Gates and the streets of heaven.

Let’s walk down memory lane, I want you to think about the person who passed away.   Do you remember their laugh?  Think about it until you trigger the sound of their laughter in your head.  If you are having trouble coming up with your own visual, you can use the one above. Now, I want you to picture your person running towards the pearly gate and laughing.  Can you hear it?  Do you see it?? 

Running on the streets of Gold

My dad passed away in 2007 and it is currently 2026.  Some days it feels like he has been gone forever and some days it feels like he passed away yesterday.  When I get sad and feel heartbroken, I picture him running to the gates just like we just did with your loved one.  It always helps me feel better. I also picture my dad walking on golden streets in the garden with Jesus.  My dad always had a ton of questions, so I can picture him walking in a beautiful garden with Jesus and talking about the miracles at Mt. Olive and all the miracles recorded in the Bible.

There is peace found in the gardens in Heaven

I spend a lot of time talking to God about my earthly dad and those whom I have lost.  It seems almost cliché to say that God is near the brokenhearted, but the truth is that he is near them.  Anytime I have been suffering because I miss my bestie who passed away too early, my dad who passed, my grandparents, my friends, or whoever: HE has always provided me comfort.  I find a lot of comfort in knowing that they are no longer in pain and they are not suffering.  They spend time praising the Lord and running the streets of gold in heaven.  Once day, I will see them again.  I will hug them again and we will spend eternity together with Jesus. 

Sending love and saying prayers for all of you!

With Love,

Abby